Got so fed up with the FF (Fucking Fail), I have taken the liberty to play boss again. It seems to suit me better than just to shut up and do what I’m told. You see, there is this not really significant application and the techsupport for that one has been floating for years since it wasn’t my job to take care of it yet the M-Fail never thought it was necessary to act on either. Firstly it’s the principle. Secondly, since the (l)user base just increased there needs to be someone in charge at the user end of the application. And third, I’m going to be sopping shit forever if this isn’t straightened out.

So I made a document with things to decide on and what/how is expected from (l)user in charge and how the tech support is going to work. (l)users say they agree, but then, despite my strong recommendation to get it sorted out with their bosses try to send me an error message to be ‘fixed’ directly (not even to the ER, as the document of course proposes). OF COURSE YOU TAUNT ME.

So here’s what I did:
- Told (l)user-kun neatly he’d be helpful if he escalated the issue. What I did not mention (but what should be clear) is that I wasn’t going to do dick before CIO-san is standing next to me telling me that I’m mopping the crap anyways.
- Encouraged supplier-kun (of which is software package) to redirect any support questions coming to them from our (l)user-kun’s to me. Because *drumrolls* it is US that pays their bill. The last I did not say, (but that should be clear) *wink*.
- Told ER to not accept calls for application. Explained why that is and that I encourage (l)user-kun to escalate.

Anyways, if supplier-kun still helps our (l)users, the cause is lost. It’s a shame I cannot walk straight into the server room, unplug the motherfucker, and slam it onto (l)users desks with a yello sticky on it that says OUT OF ORDER.

Nao I really want to know who is going to think up exactly which plan to have me still shove their crap.

Humour me, lolcats.

And I was amused. (l)user comes up with FOS story about having the answer. It translates to “Here’s something to chew on bitch“.
So then I sent him back a neat 6 questions about his story.
Other (l)user intervened to say “must do this to solve it”.
Then I get in response to 6 questions “Well that’s because indeed.. ” bla bla bla.
Nasty nasty little h00min, this one. Well, he can line up with the other couple hundred.

Um… yeah. *sigh*. I remember a “lol” from earlier this week. Groundhog calls me up and says “this shit don’t work like you said it would”. It says install upgrade and then I do it and like “shit doesn’t happen”.

…

There’s a reason it’s called an “upgrade”. Like… something is supposed to be there already for the upgrade to be succesful. Now what would that be…. Ah! I know I know I know Teach! Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!

*drumrolls*

THE FULL VERSION.

So I did my little pity dance but no, I don’t believe anyone is really that stupid. I actually updated the instruction with the words: “Upgrade stands for: must has a full version previously installed”.

I have absolutely no reason to smile, but I was doing it anyways today. It’s going to be one hilarious week.

Shared a few (l)user jokes today with ER employee “pretty nails” and was completely hyperactive. Don’t remind me I’ve broken one off today, again, after careful grooming because dragging a 6kg brick of a notebook has it’s downsides.

I got a h00min shoved under my nose last week, whom we shall call “Appendix-kun”. High FOS content. It’s not his fault, it’s his job. *snaps fingers* As long as he isn’t confusing the FOF organisation structure with my actual abilities we’ll do just fine. Just because I’m a company within a company, doesn’t mean a. that I asked for it, b. for that fact to be abused, c. that I’m not doing my 20 (underpaid) roles correctly / as best of my ability (which is kitten purring fabulous compared to other h00mins). For nao, appendix-kun stopped squirming. As is usual with this profession though, appendices and cap’ns and other h00mins who well – … have a high FOS content will be equally counterproductive as high as the situation demands to be productive. Yes, you may read that sentence again for the lolbulb to switch on.

Even (l)user who went customer on me in rainbow colors (#63) winked at me. I have no idea what that meant, but I cherish the idea he’s tired of FOS.

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