Had my review with my soon to be ex-cap’n. I think his way of apologising is in my review, how very manly of him *snort*. You should read it sometime, FOS until the very end but trying to figure out how to be “human” at the same time. “He was always very satisfied with my work”. Mrrrr heheh yeah, I wish I could say the same, Cap. He tried to talk about why I generally “seem less than happy”. Of course, if you’re not a happy camper it’s always “partly possible to improve this yourself” by your attitude or something. I’m sorry Cap, I guess I’ve missed the last Anthony Robbins seminar where he managed to convince me:

a. Being a young smart ass in an old fart ruffneck institution is easy as cake if you just think “happy thoughts“.
b. Being a female young smart ass is not even more annoying, if you manage to convince yourself “talent is the thing that is rewarded in this world” and there is no such thing as an extra hindrance in moving around the social network of nearly all men *buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp, scratches… well can’t scratch my nuts*. Met Engineer Barbie yet?
c. If (l)user or h00min is being a jackass or backstabber, it is easy if you just learn to keep your beak shut when it counts instead of getting an axe to swing or just “LOL dimwit” in his/her face to prevent acid burn.
d. Admitting to yourself you have no control over things that obviously are controlling your life, is a perfectly acceptable way of testing your faith in God and wait your life out to see him and complain.
e. And lastly, there is absolutely no hindrance in finding that perfect guy that might be able to ‘even things out a little bit‘, if you’re just able to close your eyes to the media, to the rather strange behaviour your next date is showing when you use a big word and if you can just keep your mouth shut when he’s trying patheticly to be smarter, better than you by pretending you’re just “a little less than him“. I have nothing against a little cocky, just don’t wear my skin to the parade as your feathers. I draw a line somewhere. Almost always certainly “outside of the parameters given“.

His exact words were “focus on the positive”. Say, when was the last time I’ve actually gotten anything positive out of my FOF-joint then my ability to LOL endlessly about it? No instead if I do something rite my superiors stand over me giggling, not knowing what to say, afraid I might get too arrogant (never underestimate the effects of reverse psychology). You can never do something rite with (l)users, even if you’re doing it rite. Though one thing I figured out though, “they’re just happier people”.

Personally, I like number d. Any believers in tha house?

In any case I only have a small problem that the left side of my brain is working too well. It usually says to the right side of the brain it’s FOS, because it’s got 20 full archives to prove the opposite point.

Kumbaya my lord~ Kumbaya!~ *left hemisphere: stfu*

What do you mean I’m already a sour old hag? Fuck, all this, and I’m still cracking jokes. Let’s see how well you do!

Sometimes I’m almost burning to ask “Look, I’m almost as far g0ne as you are. When does the insanity level start to count for something instead of just time, waiting to grow old?”.

Song of the day! I remembered why I like Soilwork.