I’m still not feeling very well. I can feel there’s something in my system being ‘combatted’. Go white bloodcell go! It’s very unsatisfying. I either am sick or I’m not, I hate being things in between. You feel crap every day and your mind just wants do things. In the end I always feel depressed ;_; Come on body, work with me here!

Today another funny thing happened. Someone said “by attending this meeting it may prevent irritation later on”.

*sighs*. I don’t know which lie they’re thinking up now about me to make themselves feel better, but they’re not fooling me. I’ve seen this hundreds of times now and believe me when I say I see, I see pretty damn clear despite having a -3.75 defect. You think up something that needs to be solved, but you can’t do it alone. So you work it out, like you’re supposed to, and after that you go talk to peoples make them aware of the issue, discuss alternatives and options, and then the choice is theirs. I couldn’t give a flying crap which they pick because I’m not responsible. I also don’t give a crap how long it will take explaining people. But here it comes: *drumrolls* only when the procedure is not counterproductive.

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That was my weight this morning. I didn’t think it were possible but I dove under 67kg. I didn’t consciously aim for it but due to my lack of appetite lately it just happened. Been weeks steady at 67.3-67.8.

Despite that I’m 1.78m I think I could still drop 4-5 kg before I’m bread skinny. I don’t want that. It would still not make me tiny. Have you seen women that are professional swimmers? I have a body like that, only not so much muscle haha. The same type of shoulders, when trained could be massive. You see this is why I don’t do sports.

I think I’m now the same weight as I was when I was 16. I could even wear a shirt again I know I bought in Canada at the age of 16. I also know for sure I couldn’t get it on a year ago. wtf. There is something very odd about that.