After I hung around on digg for a while I realized there’s a lot of articles there that describe ‘this is what women want’, ‘this is what men want’ and it had me thinking… What is it actually that I want? Seeing as I am just a little wibble bit eccentric. Believe it or not I never gave it much thought. Though at 27 I know exactly what I don’t want. But here’s a few that I thought up for myself in terms of wants:

I want a man to be my friend in the way I have female friends.
Nope. The man-to-man friendship thing isn’t actually friendship. Even in relationships it’s often impossible to achieve the kind of emotional exchange 2 women often have. If he’s unable to do that, I will become ‘just one of his mates’ to ‘drink a beer with’. Not exactly expecting a guy to talk about which Fendi bag is in fashion, because I don’t give a crap (is my man side). I consider myself somewhere exactly in between. What you’re going to invite, is going to be reflected. So, if you just try more to emotionally connect with me you’ll get more the mind of a woman. If you don’t, you’ll simply get a mind more of a man. I’m flexible that way. Funny enough I think I might need the opportunity to be both. I’m uncomfortable being expected to have the mind of a woman all the time but even more uncomfortable having my male side pulled out of me every time. I think that’s because I already have to push back my softer traits so much. It seems to be really hard for men to strike some sort of a balance so I can be comfortable. It takes a very strong gender awareness for anyone to get that.

Don’t be clingy, momma’s boy! Translation: be a man.
Often is thought that the physical contact like hugs and kisses are a replacement of acceptance for that kind of intellectual/emotional bond you have with your friends. Make no illusions: it is absolutely not for me. If you can’t strike a balance intellectually/emotionally so I can be comfortable, a hug isn’t going to do the trick as a replacement to address my feminine side. It’s just going to make me feel like your mother. When a kid can’t express himself they’ll cling to mom as well. The role of mama is one to easily slip into. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes this kind of affection is good for everyone; it is again the way it is envoked that can make it problematic in the long run.

I want a somewhat cold, smart man, with strong sentimental streaks and who knows to express it.
I guess that’s because this is who I am. I do better with somewhat cold types that are excellent talkers. But they must above all be able to put what they feel into words. I have absolutely nill patience with guys that are feeling horribly about something and they only sob and ‘want a hug’. This is the only ‘chick’ thing I’m completely unable to do. Yapping comes first, a hug later. “Want to talk about it?” and the answer is “No”, most I will just do is just leave a guy alone and will do so until he comes and says he wants to talk. Cold also doesn’t mean that they feel less, it just means they prefer an intellectual approach to their feelings. I avoid the term rational, since it is too constricting. Of course when there’s no problem: pass around the hugs, I want some!

I want him to have pride, flair and I might even let him be cocky.
Only then will he understand mine I guess. I always loved guys that are *there*. I’m much quieter, though I do hold a confidence some guys seem to be revolted by. He will need the same to not become too unsure of himself. I’m not turned off by quiet types, but they will need to enjoy a “hmpf I can handle you” attitude that convinces.

I want extreme loyalty
Because I am extremely loyal I guess. Don’t mean things such as cheating btw, that should be an obvious signature under your own death penalty as a guy. I don’t need to be put on some sort of pedestal, but make it appear even once that someone in your life has priority over me in some way you can literally loose years worth of credits (that’s the road to minus celcius). Unless someone is sick or something. That’s another story. If I don’t have the undisputed number 1 spot I’m not even going to bother. Attenshun! I’m not an especially hungry type for attention (I hate that in a man), but for the few times that I do he better be there or get tossed out the window. I guess that’s why I probably hate it when they’re too attention hungry. I don’t do it myself that often so then it becomes unbalanced.

Gets? *ironic grin* Told you I was born 200 years too early.